I am Thankful

Each moment, I am Thankful to million of events around me. So this is the first category I can think of.

Past to Present (4) – Those Toys

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We used to be a team of 4 kids, in care of Amiya Mama and Masi, when Ma-Baba brought wooden toys from Kamrup Kamakhaya(Assam) and Shillong (Meghalaya). Actually they returned back much before the planned schedule, as on night, Ma saw some not so good dream about one of her kid. Phones were not available that time as its today . But she was so pleased to find everyone fine at home.

But we children have been interested in our concerns first. So we were inpatient to see what they brought for us. Mentionable is the tall wooden toy, which was a big wooden Baba, which can be opened at waist. Opening that came out his wife. Open the Ma, then came out their son. Open the son up, then came out another younger daughter. Our joys were no bounds. After taking those out we played a lot and afterwards playing kept them carefully. We used to pack them into the parental unit – the big Papa. I specially liked the youngest little one toy, cute type! But as a whole, it was a wonder toy. We were always encouraged for local made toys of handicrafts, made up of mud, and woods.

In that age group, only this toy, along with other wooden toys, was the matter of importance to us. The rest things of her bagful of bamboo / wooden items were of no use for us that time ! These included bamboo lampshade, basket, filter and round wooden containers to keep the household items. Except most toys (blame solely we four for loosing them) and lampshade all are still decorated on our racks today.

Even afterwards, she has been always interested in collecting the local handicrafts from the places, be it be Mathura , Ooty or Gangasagar. And there are short stories associated with all her purchases  May this tendency I carried unknowingly. And I have some unknown deep interest in the local artisans of the places. Its worth to say I am not much an Archies / Hall mark gift shop crazy (unless needed desperately) as my brain is already is hand crafted forever.

Recently on my Coorg tour, I could not get five minutes to buy a single item from the array of the Tibetan handicraft shops from Golden temple Tibetan artisans. It surprises me, that many a times that regarding these things, my tastes do not suit many of my friends. I was choosing glazing carpet type wooden table mats to buy. And I couldn’t buy. I simple balanced my self with fully fake smile for my hurried friends who were not interested even a bit about those shops.

And I am determined, one day with my dear companion; I shall go there again to purchase ‘those’ table mats.

Past to Present – (3) Learning Curves

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It was the day, when I was promoted to Mama. Ma became Nani, and she grew older but in reality she found a new partner for cheers 🙂 .

I reached on time to the Mata Gurji Medical College Hospital from Siliguri, as I heard Didi was admitted there. And God’s clock ran faster than all human predictions! It was the first time, when I saw a newborn baby of less than one hour. A new born baby looks just like pink tiny body, to whom even touching may give a another kind of sensation. As my hands were not washed (with Dettol soap, as the TV commercials shows :), I didn’t touched the baby. As the world welcomed him, the baby too welcomed me with little open eyes and we shared something unknown.

My joys had no bounds for the newly welcomed guest for our home. For a person like me, these special events, brings up whole circle of turbulent thoughts.

For the first time, the first thing I imagined – Was I also appeared as the same tiny soul on earth in front of my elders ? Though this appears as the most trivial thought one may have, but imagining myself in the same tiny body, gave me a different feelings altogether. In evening hours, when the baby was resting with open eyes, Ma told me pick up the baby as I really wanted to ‘feel’ the baby. Though I did not have confidence to pick the tiny pink newborn baby up, I did so, on being insisted by Ma. With all the cushions of the baby ( I added one more thick towel 😀 ), I picked the baby up, softly.

As my joys were no bounds , I slowly made dance movements with my favourite devotional tunes cuddling the baby into my chest. It was the start of a very auspicious relation – of Mama – Bhanja. In our area, for many auspicious occasions, starting good works with this pair is said to be bringing good omens. And the baby seemed to understood everything and was perfectly calm on my lap. And even now at his naughty age of 4th year, Mridu (मृदु) in my company, turns out as – I am a good boy – automatically without any extra effort. Of course with a wish that he may enjoy a game on his fav compu ( laptop).

And on that day I got immersed into another array of thoughts. These ranged from the duties and sense of thankfulness of a grown up infant (that’s me) with my duties towards my elders – who cared for us some day and spent days and nights. How much dreams for our future and well being they must have carried in their eyes while trying to get us asleep! How much care they took for us when the infant grows up so much of precautions! The precautions ranges widely, slipping down from bed, small cuts, trying to eat everything including insects and emotional needs ! The list is endless…

Why one takes care for the small babies so much? While giving them selfless love, they never wish for money, fame or anything else. But of course they wish for a token of love and faith, in return back, when they grow up, even if the innocence diminishes with the human growth. How they may feel, when instead of treating them with love they are not given even the basic human treatment ?

Its worth(less) to mention about some persons, who on being shared these feelings, remarked “What so special, when every parents have to do their duties !! ” I was shocked and my feelings got buried deep.

Though it’s my practical experience that when the elder people especially old age are given a really good treatment, they turn out as child again. (A post pending here on our mausi caretaker- “Khairun’s Ma”)

Many things in our life, we can’t feel with ‘lectured words’ unless we undergo same situation to feel the same. Finding the new born baby in my lap, I was immersed with great sense of unpaid gratefulness. That day as Ma was sitting there, I put my head on her lap, recalling, what she might had done for us. We were again on the long enriching gossips, and her concluding remark was- “Ekhon kothai bujhechis Babu ! somoy aaschte jabe, aaro bujhbi. Kintu aajke bujhte paris, sei tai onek !! ( Babu (as she calls me) , when could you have understood all the things ! As the time will pass by, you will learn much more. And for now it’s satisfying that, today you can feel these things !! )

These mothers are always correct. Still I have to learn, and really a lot, I think.

Thanks a lot, for all the learning curves, paved by you, for us.

Last Saturday with thanks

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The year finished really hard for the bread and butter. Lots of learning for the next leap. Nothing to complain.

From today, it will be a history, that I used to work officially on saturdays.

Am ready to welcome the new schedule and more new news in the new year. Thanks to the ideal couple, that I have observed. May God bless you with prosperity and happiness in the new year. May your pair dance again in next year !

For the time being, I need a good sleep now 🙂

ISKCON Bangalore – 4 New Year Celebrations

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Got something excellent to wind-up the year. As FOLK ( Friends Of Lord Krishna) member got the invitation along with two more for Tasty “taste of india” festival and Vaikuntha Ekadashi from ISKCON. Time to dance,sing , skit,  eat and merry.

I must dedicate this year which really proved to be wonderful as I expected, to Him again and enjoy the evening celebrations to welcome the new year in midnight. Hurrah! My Krishna !

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मेरी प्रेरणा

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आज फिर तुमने कह दी,
बिना सोचे, बिना समझे ।
मुझे थोड़ा जाने, अनजाने ।
भींग गयी मेरी पुतलियाँ,
पर न थे कोई आँसु ।
भींग गया मेरा दिल ।
कुछ पंक्तियाँ, अपनापन लिए।
बिना पहचाने कि मैं कौन,
या खुब पहचाने मुझे ।

वर्षों पहले सुनता था,
ऐसी ही कुछ पंक्तियाँ,
मेरी नगण्य शक्ति पर।
बस आज तक वही ,
सच होती गयी ।
पता नहीं क्यों,
उसके बिना रहता ,
मै एक अकिंचन ।

मैं ढुंढ रहा था,
काफी दिनों सें,
कुछ ऐसे ही शब्द ।
आज फिर तुमने कह दी,
दुहरा दी वही बातें ।
थोड़ा हँसकर,
मेरी नादानी पर,
मोती से तेरे दाँत ।
थोड़ा गर्वित,
मेरे कारनामों पर,
होंठ कह गये कुछ पंक्तियाँ,
बस समझाकर ।

मैं उतावला नही दिखता,
पर सच पुछो तो – हूँ ।
पर लगता है फिर आज,
चुपके धड़कता है दिल मेरा ।
सच होंगी तेरी पंक्तियाँ,
सच होंगे मेरे सपने,
तु है फिर मेरी प्रेरणा ।

Past to Present – 1

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Beloved Punished Child

Dear readers, May not till now I am able to feel how my Ma is ! Today even if I can’t give a touchy massage to her tired feet before sleep, I shall be trying to recollect some episodes from her life through my pen. Each episode may not be the exactly same, but they are collective recalls.

It was a May month’s hot Saturday afternoon. We didn’t go to school because the sun was too strong in those days. I, Didi and Bon ( Pinky) were playing outside house in the soil. Deep may be just a little kid that time. While playing we must be conscious that, we were told to finish bath early and complete the tasks given to each of us before Ma comes from school!

Ma came by 1:30 PM. But while coming in the house, I could see that her face was hot because of sun rays. But she looked more serious that time. In play, we didn’t have the consciousness of half of day already passed ! We were surprised to see Ma coming. None of us did take even bath till that time. So we ran towards bathroom – blaming each other. We thought we will escape the situation. But as expected, she was asking the reasons of not completing bath from each of us and she was searching for some thing. She got it for our bad luck – a thin but strong stick. Starting from me to Didi and Pinky just started the beatings on legs. We were crying in chorus. “We wouldn’t do wrong”… “We shall take bath” and such things we were promising.

After she did enough of her emotional outburst to her satisfaction, she fell down on bed and started crying aloud herself more than we all together cried. Hairs dispersed and her school bag lying on bed aside and cloths unarranged. Uninterrupted was the source of energy crying helplessly. The pillow on bed was full of tears.

Seeing her repenting, we forgot the lines of sticks on our legs. As there was no elder at home at the time, no one could console her too. We were standing near to bed. After she stopped sobering, Didi gathered courage to call her. Though with fear, she called slowly – “Ma…Ma….”. After few minutes she moved and got up taking her anchal on her shoulders.

We were taking the bath silently like most disciplined children on earth and she was preparing the lunch for us. Leading a role of single working mother (Baba’s postings had been mostly outside town) with dedication towards profession, climbing own career stairs, expectations from children and need of house going in perfection ! She has been not just a she or I can say another perfect she, struggling hard to build the generation.  Obviously there may be more reasons for her such emotional outbreak, but the primary reason was she didn’t expect us to be playing in soil till that time.

Its worth to reveal here that, afterwards I did hide the stick in our cowshed 🙂 .

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Though this is not an analogy in anyway, but now when I see something goes unexpected with me, I want to punish my children creations ‘with words’. As these children don’t have life like us (just words made of pixels), I thought to delete them few a times, but they remained intact to me as a beloved punished child seeing them grow for ‘someday’.

Who are You ?

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“Who Am I ?” was my first post on my blog journey dated November 23rd, 2004. Yesterday this blog completed two years.

The internet based technology is my bread and butter. Its my lone technical love ( addiction) too. It rewarded me honestly, and I too kept the blog associated with my principles of identity. Flowers

During the journey, I learnt many things from my fellow bloggers with best possible transparency. I got connected to a good circle around, some became indispensable. My posts sometimes got praised well, was tolerated many a times and few were criticized with dignity. I am proud of my global associations here, specially the network of Hindi bloggers and consistent readers.

Some other things I learnt were the typing in Hindi. But adding to sorrow, I saw disappearance of some blogs and final disappearance of a blogger too.

I learnt to come out of a shell. Since my words are expressed on public place instead of my personal diary, they are half worth unless those can reach the heart and brains of audience. The best thing I learnt here is rationality in thought. Though emotional outcomes could not be checked, its impossible almost.

FlowersOn this occasion of celebration, I do hope to add new category of humour as per my Ma’s guidance. She thinks (me too) that, now a days with a loads of work and due to lack of understanding of feelings people are already stressed. They need something to smile back. On this Sunday, I am going to buy ingredients for preparing the (0 – 100%) guaranteed humour tonic. 🙂

Obviously, the journey started with self centric posts, later moved towards people around me. Hence as a mark of respect to all around me, this special post is dedicated to my readers.

Thank you, very much, my inspirations. Something kept me intact for two years, I do wonder, who are you ?

Words

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In school, starting class 6,  Maa used to give me lesser marks than the first boy – Dheeraj,  because of my lack of expression & Handwriting. And due to that guy, I slipped to position 2.  I used to think, why she does so to her own son? 

 She must have visualized that this will be my long term lesson.

Afterwards, even in my teens,  from her MA books she used to recite Kalidas, Prem Chand. I learnt her intricate lessons of weaving and polished the skills. She used to again revert me back to pen of bamboo sticks and handwriting tasks. Years passed off.  I  still recall her lessons and try to compete with many Dheeraj(s).

And these last few months, have been really rewarding for me for my words. It seems that now my life is getting a meaning to re-live, with my words. And let others rekindle their lives.

Though I will not remain with them for ever but satisfying is , they will keep me alive,  her lessons and of course friend Dheeraj.

Waves of Eternity

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He wandered in dry barrens,
To shed-off his smiley.
Today, he has a reason,
To get back his smile.

Ah! It fills the hollow.
The melting sweet ice,
Dear music of devotion,
Deployed with dedication.instrumental_merging.jpg

The rhythm and beats,
The metal jingles,
The drums of triumphs,
The oscillation of flute.

Within green hills,
Streams of blue water,
Chippering unknown birds ,
The song without words.