Highway to men’s heart

Since last one week, I am on bed, isolated in one room. Neem leaves spread over the bed and I am awaiting for blisters to dry up and back to my health again. I, with two more colleagues got chicken pox at the same time. Not sure if its the temparature humidity controlled AC room and another colleague who have just recovered up or being blessed with the Mata not blessed earlier (Chicken pox is still considered the blessing of Godess in many part of India). Anyway it has to happen!

During the course, the fever, headache and the weakest feeling have changed the taste buds too. Earlier days as the mouth was affected, even a bit of salt or slightest spicy food was intolerable. I was given boiled food with little salt and turmeric. I used to have the changed menu even in those days. Though I must admit, the boiled food has been tasty really. Dear used to have the same food, prepared for me. Not sure, how! Note worthy here is we both love spicy food!!

Today’s lunch was again simple and again same dull looking because of the little oil and microscopic masala but it was plateful rice, dal with lauki, bottlegourd bhaji, aloo gobhi sabji. After the weakness in this recovery period, I had finished them in a shot and asked for a second little serving!!

May be its again one of the tastiest food, I had from her. May be spices that contribute to the taste, but its something else than spices that makes food so tasty! Love you dear !!

I used to have little argument with her on the old saying that, the way to men’s heart is not only through stomach but other things too. But I guess there exists ‘a way’, and infact there must be a national highway in construction !!

The eternal dreams

Closing my eyes –
I wish to live with –
My dreams –
They are true –
In themselves.

Along with my soul –
They will be with me,
Till my last sleep.
When you wouldn’t say –
“Wake up”.

Let me sleep.
For a while –
If you can,
Wherever you are,
Close your eyes too,
And please share,
Along with me –
The eternal dreams.


(The post image belongs to: http://www.monicagiglio.com)

A perfect man !

Like ever before –
Again today morning,
I wake up –
To walk again,
On the road.

Whole day,
I tried hard,
To make it new,
To write a lesson new,
As I prayed.
Throwing my bad veil,
Cleaning what ever inside.

I try hard,
To throw some smile,
To wipe some tears,
To share the weight.

All the struggle,
Continues till the dusk,
Trying hard to know unknown,
Working hard to make a place,
Some where a bit to stand.
Pretending to be –
A perfect Man !

In the struggle,
Like some warrior,
I get tired bad,
Enough tired –
To just fell on –
The bed.

But eyes open,
Till late night –
Open eyes – I do sleep.
Like a worrier,
Who lost the battle.

May a morning –
Comes once again.
And I try again,
To be a –
A perfect man !

Have Feet – Will Dance

Have Feet – Will Dance ™ – The motto of SDIPA.

For the uninitiated – SDIPA stands for Shiamak Davar’s Institute for the Performing Arts.

I saw the poster of SDIPA classes in Jayanagar 4th block last year itself, but somehow the I was late to call the enrollment office, but this time I did not missed it and got the seat.

Learning dance was needed from childhood itself. It was a forceful push by Ma, to a dancing group in the durga-puja became a obsession later. Yeah, I do love to dance  on my feet to my own tunes, when ever I do get a chance.  But I needed a professional touch and discipline to it.  And in the month of January I joined it at SDIPA in Winter funk to learn Jazz. 

After training of 12 classes, our adult’s beginner’s group made the final presentation at St. John’s Auditorium on the rocking song of Jab We Met – Mauza hi Mauza. And the synchronized entry and exit towards audience (to make them dance) was really good. The song required a lot of energy and hopefully the group did its best. The quite good ( pretty too :p )  instructor made the tough steps easy and learning dance was really a fun for the beginners like us.  Her smile made the whole batch learn smile a lot.  

About 1,500 students were present in the presentation day from all Bangalore centers !  Not caring for food or time, many of them seemed practicing slowly in small groups, still before the presentation! What makes such a large number of people dance ?  One may be surprised to know the student’s age group. Its ranges from 4 to 60+.

Shiamak must had some very clear dreams and willingness to live a life , that he thought to share, through the performing art forms – dance . 

Thanks to Shiamak, whose heart speaks –

“I am an eagle that soars over southern seas,
I am a reason for people, who want to believe,
‘I am’, ‘I am not’, ‘I should be’, ‘I could be’,
In a world of ‘I’, I’m a person with just one belief:
Love my priceless possession
& God my savior in need.”

Hope to join the next level batches in summer funk.

Healing Touch

Clock ticked 4 O’clock and he was getting prepared for the operation. Nurse changed his dress and he was in white. Though he was smiling, but his wife was nervous from inside – unable to understand – what and why its happening with her.

Waiting time was over and the ward boy came with a chair to carry him to the operation theater. Within minutes he will be on anesthesia and though there will be experts to take care , still she feared something. Why not – the doctors too get written the declaration of “no-risk” from the patient.

He sat on the chair and her hands were still touching her chair. He was moving slowly towards operation theater and she had to stay back. Moving two or three steps together – she bent down and hugged him lightly touching her cheeks to his – Wishing him….. 

I was the spectator of this – what kind of touch it was ? It was more than what destiny writes for us. Was it  in the return of the healing touch he had given to her or something else ? Perhaps many of these things only Almighty knows. 

Managing Personal and Professional fronts

Personal commitments and professional commitments – both are equally important for any individual. We may want to excel in both the world, and manage both equally. And at the end, we do find it’s really difficult to manage the real chaos of situations.

As the Puja seasons arrived this year, personal responsibilities were around and on the other hand, mid term appraisals are there, I felt again hanging in between.

Personal commitments:
In personal arena, there are social responsibilities – made up of hundreds people around, who make us social(lizable) individual. Be it birth of individual, marriage or death or any thing important to life; family, relatives and society are the integral part of the same. They remain around to laugh, cry, criticize and praise.

It’s the circle that makes us grow, that keeps us enclosed and that keeps eyes wide open across the walls. Walking along this circle encircled around is a big challenge. But I do guess, when one maintains the individual integrity, the things gets easier.

Professional commitments:
Same situations do apply, while growing in the professional society, which is more demanding in terms of professional output and require high emotional quotient. The place, where emotions should take a backseat and demands a professional attitude (out of emotional zeal) on the priority.

Around 8 years back, I had bought a book, The IBM Way, by Buck Rodgers from a second hand road side vendor. (The brand new looking international best seller was very cheap as it had corners damaged by rat. But after flipping through the pages, I bought it, as I have equal respect for the second hand books as the new books. (But zero tolerance for pirated ones) ) Anyway the book consists very good lessons of marketing management and individual’s commitment towards the profession, detailed by Rodgers approach to manage both the worlds.

Now when both the worlds are demanding and commitments are there – and one asks sacrifice / compromise from the other. What to decide? A difficult situation, when none but only self instinct helps. There are instances of Mahatma Gandhi as well as Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam, when both failed at times on personal front and repented afterwards.

As we do grow and do learn to walk along the so called more mature groups, managing both the worlds seems challenging. I do personally guess that, the satisfaction and stronger will power due to commitments in personal front makes the professional challenges easier.

Respecting someone’s anger

I have heard about respecting friendship, love, elders, poor, sick and all the stuff. “Respecting anger” – a term though practiced many a times but in abstract words understood it for the first time during a farewell party.

In my recent home visit, I was enough lucky to be on the farewell party of my previous boss Mr. SPU , that was govt office. I have heard him speaking well in other officers’ farewell speech with good literary essence. On the day of his own farewell, he could not encapsulate the literary essence, being emotional that time. In plain words he acclaimed all his staffs, and praised the way they worked for the organization. The work in Finance dept. and specially in the state of Bihar, needs person like him for a better work environment.

Long ago, when I gifted him “The monk who.. “, right he was, when he told he is my like elder brother. He is a poet, editor and with a refined hobby of gardening.

Coming back to his farewell speech, his words were like.. “My staff have been cooperative. ….. at the times , I chided or even scolded them, as I could not hold my temper for the mistakes and process. And at the times, I had thought – loosing temper will affect the employee’s moral and repented myself. And I really felt sorry for that, I should not have lost that. But later on I found that as like my other words, they respected my anger well. And truly speaking, I am obliged to their respect. I have no words… “

Though I had never given him a chance of a slightest complaint, as in his words, when I resigned the job – “I was underemployed at the office” ! But about him, he is a emotional persona in fact. And at the same time, a perfectly balanced bureaucrat .

On Emotional Quotient meter, many of us fall in this category. And about respecting anger, the truth prevails, be it employer’s anger, or parents’ anger, friends’ anger or anger of a tired shopkeeper. To a very extent, we can bear it, as most of the time there is a valid reason behind a individual’s anger. Respecting a valid anger pays back – its the truth.


Generally, I don’t have anything like headache or anything like it. But like few days back, today it again started despite a good night’s sleep.

I did called my Ma, sister, close friends.Picking up phone, Ma guessed out and told to put some mustard-oil drops in the nostrils, that may help my seasonal sinus problem. I tried, it helped me. But still something was there inside to recreate the headache. I called up some of my friends – with whom I felt easy at some or the other point of time.

Some phones ended with busy tone, some friends could not talk as they were busy in sunday afternoon and a few phones switched off. I kept calling – I needed to talk with someone – anyone, otherwise 1200 watts of music system and ready to play hundreds of sound-tracks was also not helping me out at all. I switched the music system off. Staying alone can be sometimes really difficult. And the shape of difficulty is dimensionless. Men don’t cry,but when inner turbulance turns out nothing but just unbearble, sensitive men too do cry. May that help me out. But I tried to abstain – because I am a man !

I called my old buddy – my friend cum brother – Kartickda. About him, I will write in more – that how one last bencher turn out as NET qualified professor. We talked about nice times. A lot of things. Co-incidentally the time I called him, he was also alone at the house.

The old buddies were talked about. How the things moved in past 4 years, were talked about. As I asked about Sudip, one short-heighted friend of him, with whom I have a group snap too. Katickda could not answer promptly – though he is more sensibly stable than me. He told me – Sudip is no more. I could not believe, as I was expecting something like his marriage and kids. First thing came to my mind was the snap, where I was standing near to him. He further explained – how in front of his eyes, Sudip left forever.His pancreas had some problem and it got complicated and Sudip, the Station Master could never see the green flag.

Though he complained, what made me ask about him but he must be pleased to know, how do I still recall his friends so well. Actually asking about him, his pains of loosing a friend get refreshed. We talked for few minutes more – and talked on how other things moved in life.

I got entangled into the thoughts of those many places of staying, so many acquiantances and so many relations weak and strong. What good thing did we carry forward ? – The love, we did shared once upon a time – somehow or other.

I got the answer of the question that revolved around my head to create the headache. To many people it may become again a headache. But today it became my medicine. I do carry ‘something abstract’ – beyond myself being a selfish creature. My headache seems mitigating…

Inspiring Brigade

Brigade Road, Bangalore – the young Bangy junta’s evening walking lane. Do find babes and blondes, clear Lee stickers on back of jeans and you may read or of course watch nice quotes on t-shirts. Guys from all over India messing there up. The national gen-X integration at its best.

Once upon a time, but not long back, when I was in Bangalore in my student days for project and I used to be there once in a while, and I too did stroll on the same road (but never without a genuine productive reason). And I thought, I will comeback when I start earning good money and have some friends of mine.

After 4 years, few days back, I was there again with Ma for shopping purpose. And told her that, when I used to be student here, I had thought when I would get job, will come there often with friends( to confess, possible with some good girls). We laughed, as the day never came.

Now in more than one year in the Bangalore job, not even a single day even on weekends, I could be there even I have several of good friends here.

In reality, where all those walking (hands in hands) wishes went off in air ? Looking back into the year, those weekends were dedicated to either my personal works (again same washing, cleaing, cooking and ironing) or Yoga Retreat ( 3 levels ) and FOLK classes at ISKCON and our Batulda group works.

The student did not get away from me ! I told Ma, that there is a student in me dying hard to sit in a class for hours again. Why ? There are two main possible reasons. First reason is my past decision to leave the conventional class education system after 10+2 and take up postal education left a vacuum of college or university student. The other reason is hereditary, when I am still seeing my Ma reading like a student and managing school accounts like a accounts student. And at verandah there is non-book reader, my father, immersed in new-papers for hours, picking each trivial news.

There remains such students in some persons,who are restless. I am not alone – there are more around me. Mom tells such people never feel grown up – they try to grow up as student forever.

Even after my 30 summers as well as winters, in the autumns, grew a student: who loves to sit on class-room benches after job hours. I am loving to get a little chance to be a student again for next few months. And I want to compete with most others, and want to feel happy when I do answer sometimes ahead of others. I want to make a special impression and of course I want to learn a lot. To say there is a feeling deep inside that I did not sit on the benches so consciously earlier.

Aha, coming back to main point of t-shirt blondie, to me, a chance, when I will stroll on the Brigade Road, hands in hands with a girl did never ever come. And the fact flows swiftly and when the wishes of Brigade Road do merge into the Wall Street, the student, keeps walking.

Nothing but attitude counts – Freshers’ software jobs

For last more than 8 months, this never met brother of mine, (another IGNOU student) was my second ‘scolded’ fresher in the job market. First one ‘Pra…’ is happy with her Accenture job.I like to associate myself with these guys, whenever I find time. What I see in these guys / girls- is their attitude to come up all odds and the tendency to win and win. Best organisations need ‘only’ them.

Here is the letter of the same guy I received now. Same feeling arose after receiving ‘Pra…’ SMS “Bhaiya, I got a job in Accenture ! “. And I almost jumped my seat. She got the job, few days before she was about to return back to UP.

For the time being, I am reproducing unedited letter received today for other freshers to read, though ‘Abhi..’ never knew this letter will go public ever ….

Hello Dada,
I have a very good news. I have gotten a job over here at Noida in CSC
(Computer Sciences Corporation) at the position of SAP Basis Administrator.
The Company shall provide all the necessary training and for that i had to sign
off a bond of two years with the firm.

Dada I owe you a lot, it’s because of you that I have been able to aquire
this job. It’s your motivation and guidance because of which I have been able to
prepare, revise and learn many different technologies simultaneously and it’s only
because of this reason that it didn’t take me long to revise Oracle based on which
this interviw took place. In the last whole month I appeared in atleast 3 rounds
of technial interviewin this firm and finally I got selected. My office is also
now very close from my residence. In a way it is very good that I didn’t have to
relocate to Bangalore coz my parents require my attention here a lot more than ever
now. My father especially coz he has been put on Insulin Shots since last two months.
I have only one regret now I wanted to meet you in person which didn’t happen. But
I am sure it will happen soon some time. Dada if you ever happen to cook some plan
of coming over to Delhi even for once please let me know. I am very eagerly waiting.
Also if I ever happen to visit bangalore or surrounding area’s ever I will most
certainly intimate you, and we will meet. ok dada. Please keep in touch. By the
way, I forgot to ask you dada. How is everything going on? How is everyone in your
family doing? please reply soon. waiting eagerly to hear from you.


Hope none goes unguided. Few more guys are under construction…