What to do when with Reliance net connection, the company is offering free subsription of Filmfare magazine for one year as surprise gift? Though there are few magazines, I do buy as per news/tech/artistic/business interests of mine. But I never bought Film magazines.
Everything happens for a reason. Not a bad idea for a bachelor to flip through star studded pages and updates on films !
Pains are transition.
From one to other,
The stages of life.
Pains are precious.
When tears are paid,
As heavy price.
Pains are marvelous.
When one can see in them-
Colors embedded.
Pains are true friend.
When everyone leaves,
They remains.
Pains are soothing.
When one embraces them,
At times knowingly.
Pains are rewarding.
When one sees them,
Beyond appearance.
So many tags I do carry myself, given by people around, time to time as per their love and hate. The exact words may range from Buddhu to Buddhiman , Pagla to Polite, Neta to Old movie character, Besharam to Brilliant , Software engineer to All rounder. I do carry all of them like stars of any defense personal to glorify myself ! On a serious note, gone are the days, when I used to care for them – the whatsoever personality is made till now, needs hardships to polish it up.
Its not exact analogy but something related to physical tag, that we do wear around necks. One day I needed to give my official tag card to one of friend, who was walking few stairs down, than I was actually present. I told him to catch that. He caught it and knowing let it fall down down in between the spirals of stairs gap. It flews down in the air to touch the ground floor. And he walked up smiling without caring for taking that up.
It was a friendly prank solely. We laughed as we 7 collegues were there. But in reality, seeing my tag falling down, because of his prank – my heart bleed. It was an unexpected prank. The acid test of mine again. Apart from friendly kicks to him, while getting down myself, I kept silent with smile. I picked that up and walked up.
I smiled despite the fact that I was really hurt.
Now only 3 hours of this incident had passed. The same guy needed to leave for outstation. He came up with his own tag – “Prem, can you keep it till… ?”
Taking his tag from his hand again with the smile, I just told – “Dear, just see, I am keeping your tag so safe in my pocket and never play such pranks. From you, I never expected that.” – To him, even telling sorry needed courage, he felt unable to keep eye contact with me any longer and left. (And I know the bonds got stronger.)
Wrapping the ribbon around the tag, I kept his tag safe in my pocket.
Now I don’t wonder when the tags are replaced by some other things. And by nature, history do repeats itself.
Yugandhar (Yugi) is a Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya kurnool, A.P. alumni.
Yugi’s mother has only one kidney in her body and as well he too have a single kidney in his body. Holding hands of his thin mother, he came out of the hospital Hyderabad Kidney Center after 6 hours of dialysis. To an unknown they may look like just another sick person coming out the hospital, unless one knows the story in full.
Yugi’s mother used to be a proud village mother of two intelligent sons, Koteshwar and Yugandhar (Yugi), who got through the Navodaya Vidyalaya scholarship exams. A family with father, uncle and everyone else proudly lived happily with its existence.
As the teenagers they came out of the school passing the 12th exam, as normal healthy boys and joined the professional courses.
Their mother carried one X chromosome, the carrier of alport’s syndrome. She never knew it. As she was just a carrier, without affecting her health or showing any symptom. And as the sons born from the mother’s ill fated womb, they carried the mother’s X chromosome.
The chromosome when carried by sons from such mother carrier in most cases, leads to failure of their kidney as they reach 20’s and 30’s !
As Koteshwar reached their 20’s the X-Chromosome carrying the Alport’s syndrome started showing its dreaded effects. Koteshwar’s both kidneys started failing miserably. Getting a kidney is much harder than getting lakhs. Her mother promptly gave her one of the kidney to save the life of his elder son.
What about their father and uncle and other male family members? – Everyone was killed brutally by Naxalities, for nothing but to make headlines in the papers!
The family was devastated. The mother with his sick sons was forced to leave the village.
Elder son, Koteshwar tried to relive with the donated kidney of mother. One day he was out of home and never came back.
Koteshwar’s younger brother, Yugandhar too developed the same symptoms of kidney failure when he reached his 20’s. Doctors gave a deadline for kidney transplantation from some donor. It was a tough task to find a donor from relatives, as now the rules are strict that only family members can donate kidney. Seeing none around, mother prayed to doctors to take her lone kidney to her son and save his life. The things were taking a bad shape – the media noticed the case and did the rest job.
A healthy lady with consent of her husband came out to donate the kidney, without asking for a penny. As donor was not a relative – hence we alumni have to take a lot of exceptional legal and medical permission for this transplantation.
Now we required lakhs of Rupees, we asked for money from different sources. It was a really tough task. Even then we came out more than 2. 6 lakhs across the global alumni and welfare organizations. Currently more donations have poured in. I personally went through the nicely written donations and expenditure details in the beautiful handwriting of Yugandhar himself.
The transplantation for Yugi was done one day. And the mother cried when the marathon transplation operation was successful. Months passed off ! Fortunately in the same hospital, one of our alumni is a doctor.
Many a times, when all the doors seemed closed, some lights come in the dark. Now with the lights around, his body accepted the new kidney in his body.
And still he is not to the normal life.
I could not carry any fruit, Horlicks or any edibles, as everything is forbidden for him even in juice form for time being. And on one occasion, while we 4 friends were sitting near to Yugi, his mother went down the hospital and carried 4 bottles of Slice for us, from some shop. We were helplessly seeing her, this motherhood, we could do nothing, but took that.
But recently some news came alarming to us.
As he has to go regular urine check-ups, he was found with abnormal levels of constitutents. Ketone level reached to 15 mg/dL, whether normal person have less than 2mg/dL .
He is undergoing frequent dialysis. Another Navodayan doctor Srijana is trying, her proved Homeopathy medicines too for his kidney acceptance in the body.
Now experts are saying that this is turning out the case of kidney rejection. Even with proper treatment, there is only 20-30 % chance of his survival.
The fact is there are two persons -a Mother and a Son. Each having just one kidney, and same willingness to live more years together. Money is not a problem now – we need something more and that costs nothing to us.
Please do pray for their health and long life, whatever you can ….
Friendship and looks, do they crash ever? I do wonder, why in the beautiful relations of friendship, the looks, even its ugly, is taken into consideration ever !
I have own unique looks like everyone around, and I would like to quote myself in eyes of two friends of mine, without their name hence permission from none.
Friend A, who does ‘appear’ as a gentleman.
“Aree taklu, aao ! ” ( Hey bald, come-in !) was his welcome sentence, when I entered his gate for the first time, when he was at home. Yeah, its worth to say that I have turned out semi bald. Later on, I had to bear his comments about my ‘formal dressing’ that ‘casual day’. He never knew that I did not had fine sports shoes and puma t-shirts on those days.
Later on I knew that it was not an intentional remark on looks, but his habit.
Even he have been with me for since a long time, he perhaps does not know me, that I am the rare breed of proud owners, of whatever looks, without a bit of inferior complexity at any point of time.
Friend B, who doesn’t ‘appear’ as a gentleman. And here goes the chat reproduction with him one night. He is in USA now.
12:50 AM he: aabhi tak online? ( Still online?)
me: nahi offline ( No offline, to add fun)
he: blogg lkh raha hay kuaa? ( Are you writing a blog)
12:51 AM me: haan (Yes)
12:52 AM he: tune apno blog mai aaik jagah flirt ke bare mai likha thaa ki tune kisi dost se puchaa and wo dost hasne laga wo gadha kon hay? ( You have written about flirting in your blog, when some of friend, strated laughing, who is this fool ? )
me: ha ha
12:53 AM he: mere bare mai to nahi thaa…kyonki shayad tune kabhi mere se bhi iis bare mai baat kiya thaa ( Was that instance about mine, as perhaps you have talked with me too about this)
me: haan wahi hai banda.. 🙂 ( yes, same is the person)
12:55 AM he: aare bhai maine shayad aise hin smile diya hoga tere bholepan and masumiyata me ( Hey brother, perhaps I have given smile on your simplicity )
me: haan tu hi mere bhai.. ( Yes, brother he is you)
he: tu bahut hi achaa ladka haay ( You are a nice guy )
me: comment dal de wahan pe..agar sach kahta hai to.. ( Put comment on my blog , if you are true).
12:56 AM he: idhar udhar ka load nahi lene ka yaar, likhen mai mujhe fight ho jati hay:) 🙁 ( Hey I cann’t do all these things, to write, I have to struggle a lot)
———– talk portion about family is removed ————
1:16 AM He: jo bhi hay, khush rhanene ka 🙂 and tujhe levis jeans pahane ki jarurat nahi hay:) ya fir reebok shoes tu jaisa hay bahut achaa hay wiase bande bahut kam hote hein dharati pe:) (Whatever, be happy. And you need not wear Levis jeans or otherwise Reebok shoes. What ever you are, you are fine. Like these guys are very less on the earth)
me: likh de wahin pe. ..kaas koi bandi impress ho jae . ha ha ( Write down these there only, may some girl get impressed,ha ha)
he: 🙂
He: chal mujhe abhi bahar niklana hay baad mai baat karta huin bbye aish kar:)
( I have to leave now, shall talk later,bbye . enjoy )
me: sure.. yaar . bye.. (Sure.. buddy.. bye)
Any Conclusion ?
Have I ever asked myself, like all the bloggers, why do I blog, frequently / infrequently ? Yes, I did asked, and the answer is like most of you, just to pen down ‘something’. It has been well proved in the blogosphere that, if literary interest is there, this hobby of reading – writing , turns out as addiction becomes quite difficult to leave. At some place, I have read – A post a day, keeps the doctor away ! Like everyone, my blog too surfed several ups and down. Long back, one time at the verge of complete deletion ! And fortunately, it stood stronger with self will.
I am trying hard to be just-me and not ME, and look around. There is much more around ‘me’, that’s moving with a surprising consistency, and I am just a part of it. “Do look outward” vibrations of these lines do help me. Be it managing the team at workplace or family, outward look, paid well. And here in blogging outward looking is write ups on the society, economy, politics, science, literature and so one. On these topics, though I always have written casually, there have been times, they are taken to be published as the content of other sites too. This is the fourth time, when something written as just another pieces of write-ups got prominent place at another site. For many writers this is “what’s important about it? “. For me, if nothing important, these kept me boosting, at least. I had at least risen quite far above the complexion of “No one reads me !” as I had in early days of blogging. I am in a wider circle of readers now.
Now, I did feel happy when my casual writings on “Rubberi devi” and “Tea-production” has been taken to be published in Bihar dedicated site‘s content. Thanks to the self – starters of the site, Shalini and his team and their unconventional hobby.
I was told that normal human don’t use, even 15% of their potential. I will keep writing. I have nothing much to give you apart from these words as long as I have necessary supports to grow.
I am a small town’s ordinary guy, looking khalis XYZ… stumbled into this corporate world. I am writing it, as I want to look smart.
Today, Reebok logo sneaks out from my shoes ! To mention, I took care of that logo while purchasing the shoe as it should be seen prominently. My grandma will laugh aloud, if she hears the price. But I have to buy that one here for so called my feet’s comfort and of course a show off !
While walking, I do take care that my branded jean’s logo sticker reflects itself from my butt. Levis Strauss will get at least one compliment from my colleague. I preferred to change my specs and replaced with newer frameless ones, from the showroom of Lawrence and Mayo. My T-Shirt declares that – I am imported Nike. I walk composed with effervescence of some fine deo into the air around, as girls like them !
With so many self learnt tricks of looking smart, I learnt the art of saying “Hi” after widening my lips.
I am trying to adapt the metro culture here in Bangalore.
Though I am a avid lover of movies especially thematic ones, since last one year in Bangalore, with such nice multiplexes, I still have to enter some hall. May be its going to be 2 years that I have been to a cinema hall. Blame not still having allocated money to be spent for my dear-friends or not having sufficient time on weekends. I do wish to go, but when my own people will be around here ! Funny, is not !
Its my personal preference that, my real life activity partners and friends don’t even appear in the friend list of Orkut, whoever there are, better to call them acquaintances. Some of them never registered even there.
Keep reading, now to confess, few days back, I did asked one of my expert classmate, what is flirting ! He laughed a lot, and gave me some tips. I wished, had I learnt them earlier. Similarly last year I asked another friend, what is dating. What girls and guys do in dating ? Shy… I felt while I asked the question. Though I don’t want to appear dumb, but wanted to know, as small towns doesn’t give much opportunity to learn this art/science of knowing the opposite sex better !
In metro, these lessons seem necessary for majority of smart junta. Experimentation / time pass / natural need of sharing emotions, and of course, knowing each other may be basic purpose of dating. Though after writing this post again, I may not fit the dating frame. So I sit on net with my eyes wide open. Now in the orkuted world, I went through many the profiles and found these are the things, which ‘turns on’ the people and are needed, as per today’s open culture.
Anyway in real life, as not matured enough, I miss a bigger circle here, and hence the scopes of enjoyment available, as I didn’t learnt the art of occassional cocktail parties, flirting, making fun of silly action of others and to show off my branded butt.
On last sunday, my hopping into the popular book stacks at Landmark, gave me the conclusion that – there are tallest stacks of the books – “Five Point Someone ” and “A night at Call Center”. I have long back finished them off. Well written ones. Near by other stacks of books are APJ Abdul kalam’s national dreams and personality development books (that I rarely read). I have been given enough diet of life leading Sanskrit slokas in childhood only.
And the whole episode of these different popular book stacks suggests the changing pattern of life style of Gen-X ( hence reading ).
Fast food is everything – be it literature after using less and less brain to understand it, add fun to life, and dreams of a golden India, and fastest personality development methods – yes there are countable number of methods to develop the personality. Cook well and serve them – ready to eat and digest.
Worth to mention here, body hugging t-shirt and jeans girls are looking smarter than small town shy salwar-kurta girls. Cool and S*** – two words can be used to flirt with girls here ! I do feel envy of pairs, hand tied at the restaurants. Have to scold / make fun of some one – use F***.
The fact is this culture is trying to attract me and I am trying to be myself – mixing up two blends. The perfect cocktail. Even if, have I been blessed to be in that circle with all joys, I could never been happy at the end of day.
To me are the blessed points, as I am happy and content with myself and a job – that I really love to do, my creative hobbies and my real activity partners here / net.
For the instances of look, I started to write, I do wish I would have been happier, if I could walk into my Bata Jubilee leather sandals, and unknown company’s jean’s sticker covered with my kurta with natural giggles, and do participate in some cultural groups around and feel, Yeah I am doing something for my inner satisfaction !
Hope, I do look smart !
These three words look same on the first glance and make the whole difference with just permutation of three alphabets ‘ p ‘ , ‘ t ‘ , ‘ l ‘ .
This context came from a altogether different weekends of mine. Batulda site was irrepairable down since last week, due to some technical glitches.
Today my whole day with junior sister spent to bring the site up after remaking it again. As Batulda’s wish was there should be a quote on each page. For the time being I have kept a quote that I loved most and its needed to all of us, who feels student at heart. Though at the place, there will be dynamically changing ‘quote of the day’ later on. A lot of work is to be done for the site, but for the time being everyone is happy to see that site is up.
So the quote that I put was:
“Today’s students can put dope in their veins or hope in their brains. If they can conceive it and believe it, they can achieve it. They must know it is not their aptitude but their attitude that will determine their altitude.”
What struck me this quote is, yesterday’s reference of a another girl. She carried ( all 70% plus) and contractual experience of 1 year in the industry.
And she told me she is still unable to find a job, she wanted to meet me for some suggestions to find out a job in the industry.These kind of people, really need some support to get up. They don’t want to hang up too. But they lack the dedicated attitude that is required to project their aptitude right. So without the right attitude, their minimum altitude move to the higher plane. And in the long run they loose their confidence level.
I have good as well as bad experiences in this regard, when I decided to join postal courses bidding bye to engineering admissions. It was really difficult to be a self learner, especially in technical course, but at last of my masters I was determined that I will do my project work in health informatics system in NIMHANS or Manipal Hospitals. At NIMHANS, I was not allowed to enter the library beyond three consecutive days as following the rules for the outsider. Somehow I found a place to sit in editor’s room, actually to spend time and collect data from booklets / manuals. Weeks went off like that.
No project guide. I had my rough design of project work ready done in paper and html files in floppies. One day, I got a chance to show my drafts to the editor about my project needs for suggestions. He felt sympathy for me. He suggested me to meet some professors in statistics and psychopharmocology department. Now at least I got his reference, editor Sri Gopalakrishnan. I used this reference to the concerned persons. Two of them felt sorry to help me.
Last reference was Pradhan sir. I saw him as, the father figure, sittting in the mainframe (complex) systems room. The dustfree, moisture controlled cool AC air entered my nostrils and from the tables glared me, were the huge monitors with moving protein structures.I fell in love with the place.
He listened to my proposal and laughed aloud and told me about the negligible importance of the project. And next he shot one quetion to me, ” Can you make toilets in your anscestral village, where it may not be there? ” Strange question,out of context, indeed it was ! What the man, he is, working on some of the best computers in India and asking me to make a toilet !
“Yes sir, I can make” – I replied affirmatively . “Okey than you can start the project here, come from yesterday” And rest is the history. Library, cafeteria, best computer systems and support was ready to help me even on the weekends, when dust covered the railings. I am looking for the day,when he will at the best position there. I came-up with a project work to his satisfaction, and recently praised by State Informatics Officer of Bihar. I am not bragging, but its my experiment, how attitude helped me out in some of the worst situations.
Still not having a tag of IITian with me, pains me many a times, its my attitude thats carrying me forward, surpassing my real aptitude, as well as many of my classmates who scored good in conventional aptitude tests. And that’s the reason, I am fearless of all the altitudes when I see upwards.
This narration again goes to my sister, as she is so special to me. May be there are some traits of the woman, set as benchmark of excellence, though unread and unexplainable; my instinct keeps me away from most of the Bangalore’s highly materialistic girls.
The evening was not hot at all. But seeing her dance practices, it seemed that it was like a mid summer evening. She was perspiring with sweat, after so many rounds of dozens of dance swirling around her feet.Her payals used to set the neighborhood into vibrations. Though she lamented some times that why didn’t I learn table to that level. If I could have accompanied her, with the beats, she could have better coordinated her foot falls.
“Dada, I completed all rounds without stops.” And she was very much optimistic about her 6th year’s courses in Kathak despite really limited resources in the small town. And why not, her Lasik operations gave her a new look to life again. The weekly classes, by her Guruji, who used to come from Raiganj, she attended attentively, as well as cleverly, a trait mandatory in artistic learning. At the end of her weekly classes, I had to go for escorting her, in late evenings. . No matter, when midnight touches, she used to note down the all theoretical parts of dance, in her diaries, because she had to return back the book to someone.
That time with a perfect composure of a classical dancer, after all sweating out, her wheatish complexion appeared brighter and more confident, which is skin deep.
After she completed Sangeet Prabhakar in classical dance, her only wish remained, is to continue the education under some competent guru, with a guru-shishya parampara at some good place. Other option, she had been chosen that, she will learn Shahnaz Hussain’s beauty courses, and start her own entrepreneurship.
She has been artistic. And if literally to say, inclination towards arts subjects. Math remained the major obstacle in her career. Though she tried her best, but in fact it needed spoon feeding sometimes. During her secondary school exams, she got some trivial tips to solve problem from her favourite teacher. And I enjoyed the role as, I knew well, where she misses ‘the connecting links’ between a problem and derived solution.
Dreaming is a stepping stone, realization of the same is bliss. We didn’t have resources or someone well connected to metros to find out the details of scope for her.
—————————-$—————————–
And her years passed off teaching the neighborhood girls Kathak & painting , and engaging herself in free bridal make up services only in well close relations.
But there was a time, when we had to see the scopes of hers to find her day of bridal appearance. Her marriage searches started off. Newspapers were scanned for matrimonial ads. Ma emphasized that as she gets dressed in her best in functions and Durga Puja. Might she can draw in someone’s attention !
Its told, in our side unless the father’s sandal’s sole erases out, getting a groom is not possible. But this time, having her ultimate faith on me, I have to share the roles as well as decision with Baba.
Nights of ours just spent exploring all the possible scopes to us. Never we slept before 11 pm. It appeared as if we are desperate to send her out somewhere unknown. Family members’ opinions and discussions went on.
I think in these times, Ma’s duties increased to keep pushing Baba for efforts of groom searching. And endless were the talks of Ma-Baba, sometimes taking shape of arguments. Though Baba averred me as always taking Ma’s side, I managed their opinions, and derived the common thread between their opinions !
I made a presentable bio-data of hers as the best girl in the world. And next tasks were getting some of her snaps. Really difficult task one ! There were some of hers snapped in the local studios. And we started to search her best appearing snap, where everything looks perfect. Even the plates of saree, fingers well arranged, long hairs displayed with decency – and we got some picture perfect snaps. But among around 10 selected snaps with varied angles, we could choose out only two – in those she looked more beautiful. The interesting thing was both of them were snapped on our roof, not in studios! These snaps were snapped by our photographer, Vilash uncle, who came some day on her call, and everything went unnoticed to us until snaps bills came to Baba. Rest all hundreds of bucks spent in studios could not bring her natural smile in artificially painted studio backgrounds.
And this side, whenever I used be in journey for possible approaches, I had to but a weight on my heart. From the day, she appeared into our house, she had been lucky for the family in many more ways. And the fact is, from the day she left us; we became almost dispersed family and unable to manage the same. And it wouldn’t be same ever again, unless such a pious soul again enters our home in any form.
With every possible negotiation talks, there were budding hopes, dreaming castles and sudden or slow melting of the same too.
One of them is worth interesting, when Ma wanted to buy the groom !
Without going into details, I would like to mention, her two line statement to the mediator over phone was, “Why 5 lakhs, I shall give 7 lakhs to Mr. X , for his handsome engineer son. And as I might have paid such a pretty sum, he has to just leave his son, and he will be only ours forever! ” – she smiled back on the customs again.
And our children union, we needed some smart gossips to just pass off the time.
In our children arena, we calculated the good grooms available on that day. Suppose there are 100 Hindu guys to be married, in our contact. As we have managed till now a teetotaler culture, so seeing the habits of current generation, 70 will be out in screening test only. In rest 30, 10 guys will be already committed as Bengali girls are smarter to catch up job holder guys early, 10 guys will be searching for paper ad type beauty queens. In rest 10 guys, 5 will seek for professionally settled girls in preference. So there are only 5 guys for us in 100s. In rest, 5 we have to choose out one who will give her full opportunity to fly high. But where is 5’s and who is the last one, who will accept her, as she is.
Outside home, in the practical battlefield front, while meeting parents and guys, I knew how to evaporate the ego (be it mine or others), how to bring out their suppressed humanity, to start a genuine relation. And used to return home with bundles details to be talked till late nights, about people and their opinions, ideas and future preferences.
From our relatives and friends at home, many proposals came positive, some of them looking so great that, we can’t even dream off. Some places, she needed to be prepared to make compromise a lot. But as Ma have decided early that, we wouldn’t ever tell no to any guest. Let everyone come, respect the guest with your best and leave the fate to the Almighty.
The mantra worked well. One day in Tata Indica, came 5 guests. The guy, his sisters and uncle and friend. And we were prepared for a customary bride exhibition function (which I disliked most ). But this time by courtesy of the guests, they turned that into a casual homely talks.
Like others, they too departed and before departure the guy did our formal pranaam with manner and shacked hands with us (and with my sister too) and waived hands high with a wide smile, while getting back into the car.
Omen was well read.
Next Sunday, his parents, or better to say that the parents of the smart, fair and tall guy, accepted well the choice of his son, whatever she was, whole heartedly.
They invited us for their verification of house, business etc.! I predicted about, down to earth father-in-law, if the dream like day was going to be true.
After a minor verification by my parents, they decided to move ahead. Though I was told several times, but I was not willing to verify, and I was very much confident on the confidence of the guy and had chosen him out in the first glance only, as I had meet several other prospective grooms too.
On 21st day of their visit, his Tilak (Aashirwadi ) was done, as they wished . Marriage day was fixed. There was a gap of 4 months between his tilak and marriage. And the girl’s aashirwadi was not done, as if still she was free to move.
The hazy snap of Ma & Pinky right here is taken out from the video clip, before we were to depart for Aashirwadi. Her fingers are still coloured with red alta, she just applied around Ma’s feet. Hope her fingers are dry :).
—————————-$—————————–
It was again another Saturday evening after one month of Aashirwadi. The to-be groom’s parents were at our home for some homely talks regarding marriage arrangements.
In the same evening, I received a call of my good friend, who was at home in vacations. He is a well placed professional in a reputed MNC in UK.
Sister was well noticed and well appreciated by his mother, much before, but never expressed clearly that to us. And undeniable fact is, on her face, she carries simplicity and a natural smile that’s obviously appears on the faces of many the small town girls or those who come from small towns.
Though we too thought some times to make a proposal as best relations never expect those bits of ego, but we could not approach them, as they might fall in ( prime ) dowry group as the status of groom and Ma’s unwillingness to promote this system. Other thing, we were not sure, as how much they will be able to give wings to fly, to a girl, as per her wishes, born in a Bengali culture.
He holds a command affection with me, and told that along with his parents he was coming next day. I scented his voice and purpose. I told there are guests related to her marriage at our home. He heard the news of negotiations of my sister are going on. And at the same time, he confirmed whether aashirwadi of her’s is done or not.
And as planned they were at our house next morning. And I respected them a lot, since last 10 or more years he has been like my brother and of course his parents like my own uncle-aunty.
But seeing the guests already present there, as early bird, they were really calm and the situation left me in real life dilemma. Their eyes were clearly hopeful still. And when luck brings to many things together, we are unable to decide whom to hear; heart or mind.
And it was our turn to decide. Whom to choose, if possible?
One with such a good qualification, a pay-package enough to raise the eyebrows of most of today’s girl’s, good looking NRI and best aspect was known to me since more than 10 years with all nitty-gritty of the personality.
Other with a B.Com of Kolkata university, an entrepreneur as well as a small tea estate owner. He does not have a pay –package, but earns hard worked profit, may be not comparable with a heavy NRI pay-package. The only concerned thing was, his past record and current actual status still unknown. How he may turn out for her in future, was not known to us. And visiting UK so easily, will be dream for him at least.
Houseful of guests. More lucks at home !
With opportunity of so many guests at home, varieties of Bengali cuisines were being served. And desperately, we needed a private talk among we family members that time, for a decision, if possible again.
And kitchen is the ultimate place of ours for such moments. I had to decide to an extent and I already decided something in my head.
I called sister in a another room. And told her – “See this is a once in lifetime chance. Your future is depending here. May your luck is giving you the better, that you deserved. About that guy I am sure and as well as for my friend, I am much more sure. Both’s parents are here today, and both of them want you with all the respect.”
“Dada, what ever you are telling that’s correct. You are thinking better for me. But now I am committed to him, as you people have done his aashirwadi too.” – She tried to make me understand.
“His is done, but your aashirwadi is not done. You can decide again, it’s a chance of UK, and best of out of this life, we could never think off, and a family that will be caring for you ever. You can fulfill all your dreams there. ” – I kept trying to convince her.
“Everything is fine. But he was the first to chosen me this way. I have talked with him too after aashirwadi. How I can think off leaving him alone here, and go for UK.” – She was moving her eyes away from me.
I recalled about her dreams of growing high with my best possible logic.
And she was undeterred and tried to avoid hearing my suggestions further. She hurried off to kitchen to help Ma.
Alone I was left in room. I was not pained at all. I was a proudest brother on the Earth of having such a sister of mine.
This coincidence of coming another guests with a prospective NRI guy, spread into guy’s family afterwards. And there was created a beautiful impression for a girl, ready to embrace her.
Before this day, at her to-be in-law’s house, I have seen her photo, that we sent for proposal, had been framed beautifully and kept on a single table between two newly bought flower vases in the drawing room. I never imagined this !
And she got married with best possible arrangements and best possible reception at their end. Though for us, we do prefer a very simple traditional Bengali marriage, but for her, I kept all our principles knowingly away for her dream day.
And she still receives the best care from her life partner, for the sacrifice she did or commitment she showed.
Her in-laws village is 35 km inside the national highway, but a well developed one with all facilities. However I can console my self, its worth to say, the place is never a chance to grow her talents, as she dreamt off. But the good thing is that , every one is flexible to let the couple reside in Darjeeling’s down town, where the guy have runs own business.
Willingness never dies. Creativity can’t be hidden. After few months of marriage, there was a day when in her neighborhood of in-laws house, a young girl wanted to learn classical dance from her. And happily from home, she carried her payals with her. And she started her one- student -class for just sake of little fee and engaging the time. And the neighborhood must have again started vibrating in payals’s sounds in the in-laws house. The vibrations , I could hear it here too.
“Dada, I have danced a lot yesterday, though my legs pained a bit.” – next day she was telling me over phone.
We used to be a team of 4 kids, in care of Amiya Mama and Masi, when Ma-Baba brought wooden toys from Kamrup Kamakhaya(Assam) and Shillong (Meghalaya). Actually they returned back much before the planned schedule, as on night, Ma saw some not so good dream about one of her kid. Phones were not available that time as its today . But she was so pleased to find everyone fine at home.
But we children have been interested in our concerns first. So we were inpatient to see what they brought for us. Mentionable is the tall wooden toy, which was a big wooden Baba, which can be opened at waist. Opening that came out his wife. Open the Ma, then came out their son. Open the son up, then came out another younger daughter. Our joys were no bounds. After taking those out we played a lot and afterwards playing kept them carefully. We used to pack them into the parental unit – the big Papa. I specially liked the youngest little one toy, cute type! But as a whole, it was a wonder toy. We were always encouraged for local made toys of handicrafts, made up of mud, and woods.
In that age group, only this toy, along with other wooden toys, was the matter of importance to us. The rest things of her bagful of bamboo / wooden items were of no use for us that time ! These included bamboo lampshade, basket, filter and round wooden containers to keep the household items. Except most toys (blame solely we four for loosing them) and lampshade all are still decorated on our racks today.
Even afterwards, she has been always interested in collecting the local handicrafts from the places, be it be Mathura , Ooty or Gangasagar. And there are short stories associated with all her purchases May this tendency I carried unknowingly. And I have some unknown deep interest in the local artisans of the places. Its worth to say I am not much an Archies / Hall mark gift shop crazy (unless needed desperately) as my brain is already is hand crafted forever.
Recently on my Coorg tour, I could not get five minutes to buy a single item from the array of the Tibetan handicraft shops from Golden temple Tibetan artisans. It surprises me, that many a times that regarding these things, my tastes do not suit many of my friends. I was choosing glazing carpet type wooden table mats to buy. And I couldn’t buy. I simple balanced my self with fully fake smile for my hurried friends who were not interested even a bit about those shops.
And I am determined, one day with my dear companion; I shall go there again to purchase ‘those’ table mats.