Month: February 2005

बचपन में सरकारी स्कुल के हम पढाकु कुछ युँ भी खेला करते थे । दो लङके दो तरफ खङे हो जाते और बीच मे एक तीसरे कम वजन के लङके को हाथ-पैर पकङ कर झुलाते रहते । फिर झुलाते समय ये पंक्तियाँ भी गाते रहते ,

तोहरे मइयों ना झुलेलको ,
तोहरे बापो ना झुलेलको,
तोहरे हमहीं झुलैछी रे ।।

हमारे बिहार की हालत भी कुछ ऐसी ही हो गयी है । जाहिर है कि मेरा कविमन एक लाइन और जोङना चाहता है ।

बिहारी तोहरे किस्मत फेरो झुलेलको रे ।

चुनाव से नजदीकी रुप से जुङे रहने एवं पद की गरिमा बनाए रखने के लिए मैं ज्यादा बोलना नहीं चाहता । लेकिन गजब होता है जब जितने वाले उम्मीदवार के बटन को 30 प्रतिशत वोटर भी नहीं टिपना चाहते । कोई बात नहीं, बहुमतेव-जयते , आशानुरुप परिणाम भी आ गए । देवाशीष जी, लगता है, एग्जिट पोल की कंपनी खोलना नुकसानदेह नहीं है । बिहार में बहुराष्ट्रीय कंपनियों के लिए माहौल बन रहा है , सुस्वागतम् का नवोदय विद्यालय वाला गीत याद आने पर गाऊँगा । लेकिन एक प्रोबलम है । लालटेन धीमा हो गया है, कमल खिला मगर पुरा नहीं , तीर अंधेरे मे लगा नहीं, हाथ की कलाई कमजोर हो गयी। स्वतंत्र उम्मीदवारों के लिए आशा का किरण नहीं, चकाचक हैलोजेन लैंप जल रहा है ।

विकट परिस्थिति में, मिसाइल मैन अगर यहाँ लाँच – पैड स्थापित करे तो विकास-पक्षेपास्त्र का एक और श्रेय उनको मिलेगा, मगर यह लज्जाजनक स्थिति होगी । तन ढकने को कपङा नहीं है , नहीं तो घुँघट काढने में ही भलाई है हमारी।

कुछ भी हो हवा का रुख बदल रहा है। मगर ठीक से पता नहीं चल रहा है ये पुरिया है कि पछिया । पवन दिशामापी चक्कर काट रहा है । मेरा माथा भी इसी यंत्र में फँसा हुआ है । फँसे रहने का शौक नहीं है मुझे , असल में समझ में नहीं आता है कि नये स्टाइल का बहुदलीय लोकतंत्र किस कोण से बहुजन हितार्थ है । भारत या उसका बच्चा बिहार और उसका लोग-तंत्र क्या ऐसे ही खादी के पालने में झुलता रहेगा। क्रांतिकारी गंभीर चिंतन-मनन कर ही रहा था कि बेचारा नौकर बगल में आकर खङा हो गया, हाथ में खाली गैलन लेकर । मिट्टी के तेल लाना था , सो मैनें 45 रूपये दे दिए , सिर्फ 1 लीटर लाने के लिए ।

Time have the tendency to change the direction of wind. Like the direction of changing wind the one person’s need of other also changes. I have seen several instance in my life when the needy and donor interchanged the role. But it’s against my principal to take revenge in such case someone hurts/ignores me. But nature has his own rule above any one’s principals. I am giving a fresh instance of it.

Coin tossed >> Head
In a bank or any office, I am against the backdoor works, when people will go to the backdoor and get the work done earlier than the persons standing in queue. Although the office, I belong have an upper hand to get the work done earlier even at the backdoor. Once for some draft making I was in a queue may be at 9 or 10^th position. The person sitting on the counter was working with the cheques and other papers coming from the backdoor. It became more than half an hour to push 3 positions in the queue. Like every body else I too was getting late, so I told him who was looking the age of my father or less “Uncleji jara jaldi kijeye na”(Uncle, please fasten the work). “Hum aapke uncle kab se ho gaye – Line mein lage rahiye” (Since when I became your uncle? Stand in line only.), came the prompt reply. The persons standing in front of me as well as back since half an hour like victims of queue standers, did not have courage to tell him anything to stop the back door works, but they got a good chance to smile at me. I kept silent. Actually in that bank I have many persons close to me and also from my colony, to them I call bhaiya (elder brother) or uncle. In that pattern only I did mistake of calling him uncle. It was a shameful moment for me again for my easy tendency of being informal.

Coin tossed >> Tail
Yesterday, I was announcing the names of counting duty personals, where distribution of honorarium and appointment letter were handed over. The peoples were mostly bank staffs. I was announcing the name of the person one by one and they were taking their honorarium. Some were coming in mid way telling their urgency “Sir, mujhe jaldi jana hai, mujhe *** kaam hai” (Sir I have hurry , I have to do *** works). To very few people’s requests, I complied. As an effect afterwards this kind of frequency increased and it’s became impractical to comply with more such requests. But people were coming and taking their honorarium according to names being announced mostly. Suddenly a person came to my table and started searching his appointment letter from the bunch kept there ‘without his name being announced’. He found out space in between the three persons already near to table. Names were being called serially without any bias. Now the person’s manner crossed all limits. Seeing the letters arrangement was being disturbed, I looked at the person. He was the same person from that bank (who was not my uncle). I was sure that he must not remember me because that day he was sitting down inside the cabin and I was far back in the line. The words of hurting or inspiration is remembered much longer time if it touches one’s heart line so the face of the person. Honorarium was a paltry sum of money being given. But he seemed most hurried and also started searching for other’s appointment letters along with his own. I could have scolded him for his manner or could have made fun of him to give him a lesson back. But I thought I was there to serve the all others people sitting there too. In that busy hour, when others were awaiting anxiously for their name to be announced, I restrained from any such adverse mood and let him finish his aim and told my co-workers to give him money. After getting the things he left the table and I continued announcing the names.

I was feeling pity on him.

Of course you do, like everyone every one else. When you are sick or need something, you turn instinctively to your mother. But as soon as things are all right, you find her fussy and irritating. This is a very natural, but you need to remember that your mother is the best thing in your life. She is the one who loves you unconditionally and will always want to best for you, no matter how you behave. In fact, ironically, she is only one you can actually take granted. She expects nothing in return from you, but it would be nice if sometimes you showed her how much you appreciated her.

Compiled from TeleKids( Date : 20 January, 2005)

This is a forwarded mail in my mail box today , it have reached you too .

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a

pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.

-Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the

morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

– Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

– Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like?

-Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

– Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is

in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of

your action.

Don’t worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia.

U learn in life when u lose.

GOD BLESS

Laveena

बस ऐसा ही कुछ मैं हूँ ।

तेज हवाओं के थपेङो से
चोटिल हास्यालंकृत होकर,
धरती माँ के हरे आँचल पर
गिरकर शांत हो जाता हूँ ।

बस ऐसा ही कुछ मैं हूँ ।

श्यामल घटाओं के संघर्ष में
उलझे पतंगो के डोरों बीच,
टुट जाता है अंतिम तंतु जब
छोटी पतंग के सहारे उङता हूँ ।

बस ऐसा ही कुछ मैं हूँ ।

सुनामी की प्रचंड लहरों से
बालुका राशि से पदच्युत,
समंदर के असीम छाती पर
तिनके के सहारे बहता हूँ

बस ऐसा ही कुछ मैं हूँ ।

दशहरे के भीङ-भरे मेले में
शोर-संगीत, पुजा-अर्चना के बीच,
जब अनमोल बंधन जब टुट जाता है
फिर विश्वत बंधन में बंध जाता हूँ

बस ऐसा ही कुछ मैं हूँ ।

उन्हीं राहों के अनजान पथिक
जो साथ हँसते, गाते और रोते थे,
उनको खोने का दुःख तो होता है
फिर प्रेमवश सपनों मे मिल आता हूँ ।

बस ऐसा ही कुछ मैं हूँ ।

This post deals with M. K. Gandhi. And the excerpt is from his autobiography (Page 81) under chapter name ‘Raichandbhai’. The paragraph deals about his mother’s death and his reaction on the news.

“I was pinning to see my mother. I did not know that she was no more in the flesh to receive me back into her bosom. The sad news was now given me, and I underwent usual ablution. My brother had kept me ignorant of his death, which took place whilst I was still in England. He wanted to spare me the blow in a foreign land. The news, however, was none the severe shock to me. But I must not dwell upon it. My grief was even greater than over my father’s death. Most of my cherished hopes were shattered. But I remember that I did not give myself up to any wild expression of grief. I could even check the tears, and took to life just as though nothing had happened. ”

This is my virtual world of blog. To me it seems as if I am sleeping on the bed of pages and taking one strip from here and there for writing and sleeping on it again. Now why I call it peaceful is because of not having annoying traffic in my blog. Earlier seeing the others blog with many comments and high traffic, I used to think that people will come to my blog and post here comment. Fortunately at the right time, as I was suggested, I did not care about the comments. Now I feel the value of having scarce comments here. I just keep speaking; bring out my thoughts as per my mood and convenience. No one disturbs me here. Why I am telling about disturbance is the reason that when I see the other popular blogs, if the blog administrator will sing, it will be a chorus, write that will be read, everything is good, very good. But the situation becomes difficult for him when he wants to sneeze, people will shout just before disturbing the sneeze. If he weeps people will carry several handkerchiefs to wipe out the tears and they will not allow even to completer the weeping. The ventilation becomes difficult. There are times when we like to tell our state of mind just for patience hearing only and at other times will like to get it shared. But sometimes I too feel the need of interactions on the topics of discussion.

Every addict blogger likes to write for different individual reason. I too write; such that my memories and thoughts will be collected in an organized way and along with I can vent out my feelings too. But I ask a question here should one vent out his/her feelings, which may show his/her weakness? My own answer will be yes. First reason is once you write it may or may not it be heard (read) by others but there is a psychological satisfaction of saying. After you type or say something there is feeling of relaxation, something like, okey, I have told that. There may be different opinions, but to me it is also one of the several reasons of blogging. Misuse of this openness by others can’t be justified, I feel so. And we must understand and remember this fact in future too. Although sharing or helping in pains or happiness is equally important. Now one more question arises here, who will share or help. ‘Any one’ is the reply. Let we are traveling in a train, don’t we like to share the jokes or problems at the instant although we know that the destinations may be different. Exceptions are the travelers who will keep silent throughout the journey and in night keep their shoes on the fan!

Before I was known to blogging in October, I was almost helpless to express. The town I live here, there are very few friends in my close circle and everyone including me is busy. My other friends are not near to me but they are online mostly. After blogging begun I started published my writings. Set me free to write freely, I will be writing, and writing for my satisfaction. The topic may include that some of my pigeons died from cold , Java 1.5 have a serious fault, what features of a raga make it time specific, what is Alzheimer’s disease. Of course I will write on these topics too.

Every time I publish a post, I take a deep breath of relaxation or relief. As the day passes and I read my own early posts I see a lot of improvements in them. But only due to this reason I wouldn’t delete my previous posts of my early days. The beauty of development lies from those posts only. At the same time I think whether this post will be look immature after 10 years. I have planned to blog till my last day after that someone will again continue my blog surely. I do try to maintain honesty and transparency in my posts which will be read by my army of great grand sons and daughters too.

I was talking about the peacefulness in blogging. For that I think that if I have high unsolicited traffic today, it will be almost impossible to manage those after 10 or 20 years. For that reason too I am happy with my present. I may have few readers only as per my guess ( I don’t know actually), but I am happy with few readers only. My statistics shows that there are few regulars, but none disturbs me here. In contrast, some bloggers gets disturbed by me few times, although I never have any intension to do that.

I am happy and want to thank everyone who makes my blogging successful starting from my smart fingers who are excited for typing this line and the display device making company’s employee, who made the screen, where my post is being read.

The thing goes back to my childhood. Once at home I broke up the glass vase during playing. It was going to 4pm in clock. Maa was about to come from school. I was on the bed immersed in the book. But my eyes were not on really on it. My whole body was shaking in fear. Ma used to have equal quantity of love and pain for us. It was sure that Pinky or Deep will tell Ma about the vase. And I will get my share of punishment.

But no one told about the incident to Ma. I took didi in confidence that she will not tell her about the vase. I became the best discipline boy that evening. The news of breaking got leaked out after few days and by that time Ma’s mood was fine and she did not scold me much.

Although Ma was strict in the rules of schools and family (She is friend today, because we grew up 🙂 ) . But in those days anyone among we brothers and sisters commit mistakes we felt a group responsibility for that and let her manage the home. Till today in my social life there is some feeling of responsibility in me when there some vase or anything like this break. I feel guilt for such lose of property and feelings around me. Is my method is underestimating the self respect or correct?

At a distance to my office there is Border Security Force Station. Often the militaries will do practice shooting in their range. Along with this the golden quadrilateral’s road construction work is going on near by only. Many a time my chamber’s glass panels will react violently towards the shooting sound and construction vibrations.
More over I am living at a town which is in seismic zone –IV like most of the north Bihar districts. Each moment there is possibility that a earthquake more powerful than Bhuj. Personally I have felt 3 earthquakes after growing up. First time I felt was in my Navodaya days, when I used to live in Maranga campus north hostels. At that time the thundering of hostel roof which was made up of asbestos and swinging single storey beds broke up our deep morning sleep. We ran out the hostel before we could understand that something like earthquake was that. The unprepared guys in funky dresses came out. No one slept afterwards on the night we the helpless boys just kept our Jha sir surrounded till morning. And from next night we were half asleep till the fear went off after some days. My second experience of earthquakes was at my home when again in early dark morning hours when we were in deep sleep, the showcase glass panels started making peculiar shaking sound and shaking bed. We are Japanese kinda person here ready for such events anytime. The main gate key is kept at quiet secured but handy place, So within seconds we were out of the house. In our side there is religious but quite scientific custom that if people feel the earthquake and the vibrations recedes, people will blow counch (Shankh), to make aware that earth quake is felt and be aware from now. Scientifically proved fact is that there may come more vibrations in succession. Third one was felt during my Siliguri stay at afternoon hours when I was working on my friend’s computer and suddenly I heard the asbestos vibrations and shaking of everything, it lasted few seconds only. Sure I ran out of the house within seconds after leaving the computer’s program running inside.

But after feeling those vibrations, I am comfortable with the vibrations I feel in my chamber. But I am worried for that day when real earthquake will come and if I shall take granted the vibrations as regular vibrations! If that happens really according to forecast and this sub Himalayan zone shakes violently, the north Bihar districts will be affected mostly. After reading this post, please don’t think that we are leaving at a dreaded zone of natural disaster. Let me give an example of Tsunami victims who did not left the coastal towns even after the disaster and Japanese who learnt to leave with earth quakes since ages. Otherwise disasters can come anywhere either at beautiful Phuket beach or at top of World Trade Center (It was not natural disaster but a disaster by human’s ‘nature’).Like millions worldwide, we have learnt to live under the nature’s powerful canopy. We are ready to accept nature’s nature. Moreover the UNDP is running disaster awareness and management program in the region along with the local government.

एक पक्की सङक के किनारे काफी सारे पेङ हैं । हरेक पेङ का अपना एक विशिष्ट महत्व भी है । लेकिन मुझे बरगद हमेशा से प्यारा लगता है । धार्मिक कारणों से ही नहीं, प्रकृति की रचना और विधाता की कल्पनाशीलता के कारण भी। बहुत बङा होता है न, इसलिए सबको बैठने का आश्रय देता है । इसका न तो लकङी, न ही फल मनुष्य के किसी काम का होता है । हाँ, पक्षियाँ इसके फलों को बङी चाव से खातीं है । काफी घना होने के कारण फिर घोंसला भी बनाती है । इसकी जटाओं से बच्चे झुला बनाकर झुलते हैं । हमारे धार्मिक रिवाजों के अनुसार लोग इसकी पूजा भी करतें हैं । दिर्घायु होता है यह पेङ । सैकङों पथिक आते, इसके छाया में विश्राम करते, फिर चले जाते है । समय के साथ-साथ, धीरे-घीरे इसका तना कमजोर होने लगता है । फिर एक दिन यह तना खोखला भी हो जाता है । लेकिन इन दिनों में खेलने वाली ये जटाएँ, आधार पर पहुँचकर शक्तिशाली होने लगती हैं । जङों जैसी दिखने वाली ये लताएँ तना बन जाती हैं । बरगद के इस साम्राज्य का इतना बङा दायित्व, उसके आशाएँ – इन नव स्थापित स्तंभों पर जरुर कष्टदायक होता होगा । यूँ तो उसी बरगद के प्रसारित बीज पौघा बनकर दीवारों के दरारों में भी जगह बना लेता है । लेकिन या तो उसे काटकर हटा दिया जाता है या उसकी जङे उसी पर फिर से एक नया साम्राज्य बनाने लगती हैं । चाहे पेङ नये हो या पुराने, पेङों के लटकती लताएँ या उसकी जङें काफी सख्त होतीं है । पेङ की विशालता और उसका अस्तित्व उसके इसी गुण के कारण है । अगर पुनर्जन्म की अवधारणा सही है तो विधाता से मेरी कामना है, मुझे ऐसा ही एक पेङ बना देना , क्योंकि इस जन्म में यह सिर्फ एक प्रेरणाश्रोत ही बन सका ।